19 - Usagi's Joy: A Love Letter from Tuxedo Mask

Nephrite's starting his astrology routine early this episode. In the cathedral of solitude, he asks the stars to reveal the Sailor Guardians' greatest weakness... and the answer is Tuxedo Mask.

That, by itself, is an interesting statement of how this show is different from other shows of its era. I remember watching the original Ninja Turtles cartoon as a kid, and there was a line that stuck in my head. Formulating his latest plan, Shredder tells his underlings, "We'll strike at their weakest point: April O'Neil." Even as a kid who didn't know anything about anything, this line really bugged me. I mean, in the late eighties/early nineties it was hardly unusual for a cartoon to have a sole female character whose job it was to get rescued a lot. But it was also just a little bit embarrassing, the kind of thing you tried to ignore because you otherwise liked the show. For the show to just outright say that this was the case was downright jarring. So yeah, the Tuxedo Mask comment is somewhat cathartic for me.

Once Nephrite's done with his astrology session, Zoisite teleports into his base and says that Queen Beryl wants to see him... kind of right now. You may recall that in our last episode, Nephrite blew her off because he wanted to do things his own way, and ended up screwing up as usual. Nephrite does actually show up for his scheduled bollocking, which shows that he at least isn't a complete idiot.

Oh, okay, looks like I spoke too soon. Nephrite shows less contrition than a teenager caught smoking behind the bike sheds, and says he'll find his own way to defeat Sailor Moon. Beryl is, obviously, enraged by this impertinence.

Oh, okay. So, Beryl isn't enraged. I have a theory that Beryl has an enormous preference for rebellious men who do things their own way and constantly disobey orders. That's the reason Jadeite got iced despite his groveling, while Nephrite is not currently a smoking crater. So Beryl okays Nephrite's plan to... okay, he didn't ever explain what his plan was, but the point is, he's a rebel. And that's something, right?

By the way, I believe this episode is the first time the term Shitennou gets used, and Viz translates it here as Four Kings of Heaven.

Later, Usagi finds a surprise in the mailbox... a love letter from Tuxedo Mask! He really went the extra mile with that pink stationery, got to give him credit for that. Tuxedo Mask confesses his love and says he wants to meet Usagi tomorrow night in the Shinjuku mall. Usagi's ecstatic, though Luna is skeptical, and for once she's not just being a downer for the sake of it. How does Tuxedo Mask know her identity? Can they really trust him anyway? He's helped out in the past, but they don't know who he is. Such details are of no interest to Usagi, of course, who's convinced this is the real deal.

Well, until she gets to school and realizes that every other girl has received an identical letter, claiming to be from Tuxedo Mask. Of course, nobody other than Usagi knows who Tuxedo Mask is, though Naru privately hopes it could be that nice Masato Sanjoin she met a while ago. You know, the one who had absolutely nothing to do with her lifelong friend turning into a psychopath? Ms Haruna enters the classroom and advises the girls not to be tricked by something so suspicious, which is good advice, though she's privately furious that she didn't receive a letter of her own. Meanwhile, Ami and Luna discuss the letters, and decide to consult with Rei.

At the arcade, Mamoru and Motoki discuss the matter too, while we get the first sighting of in-universe Sailor Moon merchandise (leaving aside the special case of Sailor V). Also, the biggest reference to Goldfish Warning so far...

There are no less than four Goldfish Warning characters visible in that image, plus a fifth that's obscured by the Tuxedo Mask doll. If you didn't know, Goldfish Warning was the show that many of the Sailor Moon staff worked on immediately prior to Sailor Moon, and I definitely recommend checking it out: not only is it interesting to see so many of the same artists and voice actors working on something different, it's also a great, albeit weird show in its own right. Any show that can successfully set up the old "rich girl loses everything, is befriended by down-to-earth poor people" chestnut then completely subvert it halfway into the first episode is a show worthy of respect.

Okay, back to the episode, Mamoru and Motoki speculate that this Tuxedo Mask business might be some sort of advertising, then a depressed Usagi enters, prompting the usual taunting from Mamoru. He says she must not have received the love letter, but nope, she's depressed because she thought she was the only one.

Rei, it turns out, is sick. She's got a fever and is stuck in bed, so although she too got the letter from Tuxedo Mask, she won't be going anywhere. Ami says she'll stay and take care of her. D'awww...

At the mall, Nephrite's in Masato Sanjoin mode. Naru sees him, and nervously asks him if he's Tuxedo Mask. He immediately wonders if Naru somehow figured out that he was the one who sent those letters. So he doesn't exactly deny that he's Tuxedo Mask, and starts complimenting Naru. And then...

Ladies, gentlemen and none of the above, this story arc just got creepy, and not in the wholesome Youma way. While I realize that Nephrite's interest in Naru is feigned, it's no less manipulative. Naru goes through a lot of crap in this arc. Nephrite says he'll see her tonight, leading Naru to conclude that he really is Tuxedo Mask... er, whatever that means. Oh, and just in case we're not yet sufficiently creeped out...

Brrrrrr....

In her room, Usagi wonders why Tuxedo Mask would have sent love letters to literally every teenage girl in town. There's only one thing to do: ask him in person! At the mall, tonight, where she was planning to go anyway. But this is for investigative purposes only and is absolutely not a date.

Okay, carry on then.

Er... Usagi, what? I mean, that's not bad advice, but why is that your first rule? What are you expecting to do on this, your first ever date?

And I'm not going to comment on Usagi's choice of underwear beyond wondering if Goldfish Warning-themed panties were ever actually a thing. They probably were a thing.

While Usagi gets ready for her not-date, Naru shows up at the designated place, and is greeted by none other than... Tuxedo Mask!

Dude, the hair. You might want to... oh, never mind.

Anyway, Naru instantly recognizes him as Masato Sanjoin, which surprises Nephrite. She says it's his voice and presence, but I think the hair probably helped. Also, you already said you'd meet her tonight, you dope.

Naru is now head-over-heels for Nephrite/Sanjoin, after what he said to her earlier that day. Nephrite doesn't seem too interested in that, though, and leaps at Naru, demanding she show her true identity: Sailor Moon.

Speak of the devil, Usagi's on her way to the mall, when she's contacted by Ami. Once Rei discovers that Usagi's trying to meet with Tuxedo Mask without her, she struggles out of bed, determined not to be left out. Meanwhile, Nephrite continues to demand that Naru transform into Sailor Moon, while Naru doesn't know what the hell is going on. I guess maybe out of force of habit, Nephrite starts to drain Naru's energy, leading to what must be the saddest image in this episode.

Naru starts to lose consciousness, while Nephrite is amazed at the energy he's taking from her. Usagi enters, sees a guy in a Tuxedo Mask costume assaulting her best friend, and freaks out. She too sees pretty quickly that it isn't Tuxedo Mask. I say once more: the hair. Tie it back or put it under the hat or something. Show some initiative! Usagi transforms, and somewhere nearby, a curious thing is happening.

I'd have included more of this sequence, but it's evident that whatever compression Hulu uses really didn't like the colorful background, and hence the screencaps are artifacted to hell and back. Anyway, for those of you who haven't been reading the credits, or listening to his voice, or noticing any of the increasingly blatant hints the show's dropped recently, Mamoru is Tuxedo Mask! Only it seems he doesn't realize this, and his transformation seems to be an instinctive thing triggered by Usagi's transformation into Sailor Moon...

Nephrite seems to have finally figured out that the unconscious girl he's now holding isn't really Sailor Moon, just in time for the real Sailor Moon to show up and challenge him. She's pissed off tonight, and with good reason. Nephrite tosses Naru to her, and removes his disguise. Sailor Moon recognizes him as Sanjoin, but he finally introduces himself as Nephrite. Yeah, I hadn't realized it up until now, but Nephrite's so hands-off that this is the first time any of the main characters have seen him out of his disguise.

Nephrite uses his star powers to summon a blue lion from the constellation Leo. Fun fact: this pseudo-Youma was known by fans as Leo for a long time, for obvious reasons, but its name is actually Regulus (the brightest star in Leo, which gets mentioned a few times this episode).  Regulus chases Sailor Moon, but is smacked in the head by - you guessed it - a rose.

Accept no imitations! It's the real Tuxedo Mask, who's either modeling for a menswear catalog or has discovered a stylish new way to hold the elevator. He's annoyed at Nephrite's plot, and confronts him, telling Sailor Moon to run. As she does, he blocks Regulus's path, and...

Oh my god, I'm not the biggest fan of the art in this episode, but these poses are just the best. Regulus charges at Tuxedo Mask, and Sailor Moon uses the tiara on it. It's knocked back, but doesn't turn to dust like usual. Tuxedo Mask tells Sailor Moon to run for the elevator because everyone knows that's the safest place in an emergency. They make it inside, the doors close behind them, and of course it was a trap. Nephrite plans to bring it up to the top floor, then let it drop.

Alright, Nephrite, nobody likes a smartarse. As the elevator panics, Tuxedo Mask considers the situation, and Sailor Moon has to hold herself back from latching on.

After slightly embarrassing herself with her fantasies, Sailor Moon is brought back to reality by Tuxedo Mask, who has a plan. He forces a panel at the top of the elevator open, and the two climb out onto the top. As it reaches the top floor, they jump. Tuxedo Mask grabs onto a ledge and Sailor Moon misses, but grabs his hand. The elevator plunges to the ground beneath them.

Now dangling above a very big drop, Tuxedo Mask suggests they talk as he tries to gain a footing. Sailor Moon asks why he always comes to help her, and he says that he doesn't know: something in his blood tells him to do it. She asks who he is, wondering if he's Motoki, but Tuxedo Mask just says that he feels that he and Sailor Moon had a connection in the distant past, one that he can feel but can't remember. Just as they're about to fall, the door above them opens, and they're pulled to safety by Sailor Mercury and Sailor Mars (who's wearing a face mask because of her cold). While Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars bicker over Tuxedo Mask, Mercury seems to be the only one to remember Naru, who's unconscious and needs to get to the hospital. Tuxedo Mask bids the girls farewell, and tells them to get along. Tuxedo Mask gets stressed when girls fight.

In the Dark Kingdom, Zoisite points out to Queen Beryl that Nephrite has failed in his mission. He suggests Eternal Sleep. However, Beryl is impressed with the energy that Nephrite brought back, so he's off the hook. Back in the cathedral of solitude, Nephrite observes that the same energy he's been trying to collect from others is now being produced by Naru, as a product of her obsession with him. Oh dear.

Monster of the day: No Youma this time, but we did get the Youma substitute Regulus. What is there to say about him? He's a blue lion made of stars, he's tiara-resistant, and he's the first monster not to end up dead.

Most valuable person: It's Tuxedo Mask's episode, and time for him to finally get some recognition in this section. This is the most we've seen of him so far, and there's no argument that he was pretty useful this episode. He deserves this award for the poses alone.

Least valuable person: Nephrite, for a few reasons. Number one: he's a dick. Now, I know that's sort of the job description for enemies, but this marks the start of his manipulation of Naru, which is super low and creepy no matter how you look at it. Also, his plan was absurd and only succeeded in drawing Sailor Moon out in spite of itself. You think Sailor Moon's not going to notice that Tuxedo Mask sent letters to every teenage girl in town? And how was it that only Sailor Moon and Naru showed up? At least when Jadeite pulled a similar stunt in episode thirteen, the cops were on hand to keep curious citizens away from the airport.

This is an important episode, officially revealing Tuxedo Mask's identity to the viewer for the first time. And while it's not like it was a huge mystery, we have the added detail that Mamoru doesn't know he's Tuxedo Mask, and it's implied Tuxedo Mask doesn't know he's Mamoru either. We also get - and I say this with a heavy sigh - the beginning of the Naru/Nephrite thing. This plot element never sat well with me. I just can't enjoy watching emotional abuse of a character who's unable to fight back. I'll talk more about this later... unfortunately.

This episode does a few things that bug me, but it's solid enough that they don't ruin it, meaning the episode evens out at three stars out of five.

18 - Shingo's Love: The Grieving Doll

Okay, I'm back to nitpicking titles. ADV translated this one as "Shingo's Innocent Love! A Sorrowful French Doll". The "love/innocent love" term here is junjou (純情) which good old JDIC defines as "pure heart; naivete; self-sacrificing devotion". So... honestly, neither is super close, but I think ADV edges a bit closer. "Sorrowful/grieving" are both valid translations of kanashimi (哀しみ); in the context of the episode, ADV might be a touch closer, but either could make sense. Finally, why did Viz drop the "French" part? Well, there may be some logic to this. The term "French doll" doesn't really have any meaning in English beyond the obvious one of a doll from France. In Japanese it actually refers to a style of dolls, in particular the western porcelain/bisque style seen in this episode. So dropping "French" is actually a valid decision, and arguably more accurate, but maybe replacing it with porcelain or bisque would have been the most accurate. My thanks again to Crayola, who advised me on matters of doll etymology.

If anyone's still reading after that, it's time to start the episode. Nephrite has finally deigned to appear before Queen Beryl to explain why he's been so rubbish recently. Our pal Zoisite appears, and proposes they work together on this next mission. Queen Beryl likes the idea, but Nephrite refuses, saying he works for himself, and buggers off. Telling Queen Beryl you don't recognize her authority might not be the best long-term survival strategy, you know. Meanwhile, Zoisite is drawn to resemble the love interest in a seventies anime about manly giant robot pilots or something.

The art director for this episode is Ikuko Ito. She's responsible for some of the best art in the series, but also some really weird art. She's basically the Ikuhara of art.

For once, Usagi woke up early enough to interact with her family before going to school. Her dad reads in the paper that Shingo's friend Mika, who you may recall from episode five, won a prize in a doll-making contest. Usagi teases Shingo about having a famous girlfriend, but Shingo points out that girls are icky, and heads off to school. Usagi notices what time it is, runs out of the house in a panic... and is still late for school.

On the way back home, Usagi and Naru run into some girls from Shingo's school, who have a problem.

Don't ask Usagi, she's been wondering the same thing for years. Still, she's keen to know the exact kind of asshole behavior Shingo's been responsible for this time. Cue a flashback where Shingo congratulates Mika for winning the contest, and she thanks him for supporting her, and gives him the prizewinning doll as thanks. Then a group of boys gathers to taunt Shingo for having an interaction with a girl more complex than pulling hair and running away. He buckles under peer pressure and tries to quickly give the doll back to Mika, but in the panic it gets dropped and breaks. Mika is devastated, and Shingo is evidently too shaken by the experience to say anything.

I have a confession to make: I find this scene genuinely difficult to watch. There's something innately distressing to me about seeing toys, especially toys with anthropomorphic qualities, getting destroyed. And for some reason, vinyl records too. So anyway, yeah, parts of this episode probably have more emotional impact on me than they do on its intended little kid audience. I am super mature that way.

Usagi tells the girls she'll talk to Shingo about the incident, though her demeanor suggests less talking and more pummeling. Next up is an enormously sad scene with Mika, who's working on another doll, and is unable to tell her mom what happened to the prizewinning one, instead saying she let someone borrow it. Her mom observes that the new doll looks like it's on the verge of tears, but fails to notice that the same is true of Mika.

Over in the cathedral of solitude, Nephrite does his astrology act, and Mika is identified as his next target. And you thought her day couldn't get any worse.

Shingo is in his room, repeatedly trying and failing to write a letter to apologize to Mika. He hides his efforts as soon as Usagi comes in, and then Usagi proceeds to explain the problem to Shingo as only a sister can.

Usagi demands Shingo apologize to Mika immediately. He gets defensive, telling her it's none of her business, but when she threatens to rat him out to their parents, he agrees to go right over to Mika's house and apologize.

Shingo honestly hasn't displayed many redeeming features in the show so far, but this episode does demonstrate he feels genuinely bad about what happened. He's practicing his apology outside Mika's house, when a maniac driver in a sports car suddenly pulls up outside. Why, it's Masato Sanjoin, millionaire playboy and doll enthusiast! He's set up a meeting with Mika and her mom to discuss their dollmaking talent. As he piles on the praise, Mika's mother is enraptured, while Mika is just uninterested and depressed. He asks to see the prizewinning doll - because Mika really needed to be reminded of that whole issue again - but with it unavailable, Mika shows him the new doll instead. Oh dear, the doll just became a Youma vessel, and it temporarily gains a new, deranged expression. Sanjoin says he'd like to commission Mika for ten dolls, and her mom, who has an exhibition coming up, agrees. Later that night, Mika finishes the first doll and starts work on the second. When her mother suggests she take a break and go to bed, Mika refuses, becoming violent. Oh right, now her mom notices that something might be wrong.

Shingo is outside Mika's house the following morning - I guess he chickened out of the apology the first time, or was scared off by Nephrite's bad driving - and her mom explains to him that Mika has been up making dolls all night, refusing to come out of her room. Shingo goes inside to try to talk to her, but Mika isn't interested. Back in his room, he mopes, assuming all of this is a result of what he did. Usagi comes in to see how the apology went.

"Are you going to hit me again?" He explains what happened to Usagi, who tells him to cheer up and maybe bring her a gift next time. When alone with Luna, though, Usagi expresses her suspicion that this might be the work of the Dark Kingdom. Usagi can be perceptive sometimes, and besides, what could be cooler to investigate than cursed dolls? Usagi's admittedly keen to hand off the actual investigating parts to Rei and Ami, but she's still more enthusiastic about the mission than Luna, who has a pronounced (albeit rarely referenced) fear of ghosts.

Usagi, Ami and Luna go to Mika's house to investigate, but with Mika still locked in her room with the curtains closed, the only thing they have to go on is the upcoming exhibition. Meanwhile, Shingo gets inspiration for what to give Mika: they're both fans of Sailor Moon, after all.

However, since Sailor Moon doesn't have the same weight of merchandising behind her as Sailor V does, Shingo will have to get creative. His artistic skills leave something to be desired, though, and Usagi tries not to be too offended when presented with his unique interpretation of Sailor Moon.

The exhibition begins, and Mika's mom explains to Nephrite/Sanjoin that Mika is still finishing the last doll, and worked like crazy to get them finished. Mika is in the back room working, and looks increasingly weird: someone else pointed out that as the episode progresses she's drawn more and more to look like one of her dolls, with a pale complexion and painted-on makeup. And the possessed doll is moving again, yay.

Ami is checking out the exhibition with Luna, and... oh dear, Ami, what are you wearing?

Coincidentally, Rei has come to the exhibition, dragging an uninterested Mamoru along on a date. Mamoru passes Nephrite/Sanjoin, and there's a mutual moment of confusion where they feel like maybe they know each other.

Usagi and Shingo check in with Mika's mom, and are directed to the back room. Shingo's having second thoughts on the apology, but Usagi marches him over there... just as Mika finishes her last doll, and some weird stuff starts to happen. Her energy peaks, and the Youma emerges from the doll from earlier, and drains her. I hope you wanted more creepy doll monsters!

This Youma is called Jumou, a reference to French dollmaker Jumeau, in case you didn't know. Shingo dives to save Mika, but Jumou blasts him away, and his vaguely Sailor Moon-like model is crushed. Seeing that doll get broken... distresses me less. Well, now that all of the civilians are safely unconscious, Usagi can transform into Sailor Moon.

Sailor Moon gives the Youma a comprehensive telling off, but runs when she sends possessed dolls after her. She's joined outside by Mercury and Mars, and Mercury casts Bubble Spray, but that just means Sailor Moon doesn't see the evil possessed dolls flying towards her. Sailor Mars neutralizes them with her ofuda, and they fall to the ground, not breaking even though they fell quite a bit further than the one at the start of the episode. That's a tip for all you dollmakers out there: for sturdy dolls, make them with evil.

This turns out to have been a distraction, though, because Jumou is now choking Sailor Moon. Mars sends an attack at the Youma, who just moves out of the way, but detaches from her hands, leaving them around Sailor Moon's neck. She then launches her forearms at Mars and Mercury, and they're "as sharp as knives" despite that not really making any sense.

Speaking of not making any sense, Sailor Mercury detects that the Youma's right leg is the source of her power, so Sailor Moon should aim her attack there. Great, if Sailor Moon wasn't still being choked. Well, Tuxedo Mask distracts Jumou long enough for her to drop Sailor Moon, who can now confidently send her tiara at the monster...'s leg.

Well, with the Youma beaten, Mika wakes up, sans-evil makeup. Shingo apologizes that his present for her was destroyed, but she's grateful that he came to help her. Sailor Moon then appears, silhouetted in the window, telling Shingo and Mika to value their friendship. Later, Mika makes a scarily accurate model of Sailor Moon for Shingo, but then gets annoyed when he acts a little too attached to it.

Monster of the day: Jumou. Jumou has a cool design, resembling a doll base, with detachable limbs. Her weakness is her right leg for some reason. I dunno, if I'm being generous then we could say that maybe this is a reference to Achilles' heel.

Most valuable person: Shingo actually comes close, which is a surprise given how awful he's been so far, but the winner is Usagi, who shows concern for her awful brother and takes most of the initiative on this mission.

Least valuable person: Mika's mother really rubbed me up the wrong way with how oblivious she seemed to Mika's problems during the first segment of this episode.

This is definitely a memorable episode, and there are some good character bits. It's a particularly strong episode for Usagi, as we get to see her take her brother to task for something he did wrong, then support him when he tries to do the right thing. I think my main problem was how derivative it seems of earlier episodes, especially of episode five. Both episodes have the same writer and art director, feature Shingo and Mika heavily, and have a monster that can be beaten by aiming attacks at a specific part of its body for no obvious reason. And episode five itself was derivative of episode two, so this is like a copy of a copy.

On the other hand, there's enough fresh material here to make it mostly work. It's not a classic episode, but the parts that annoy me are balanced by the good, giving this episode three stars out of five overall.

16 - A Girl's Dream: Usagi Becomes a Bride

I know I spent half of the last review complaining about a translation error, but what's up with this episode's title? "Junpaku Dress no Yume" literally translates to "Dream of a Pure White Dress", and yet here it somehow became "A Girl's Dream". I... I just don't get it.

We start the episode with home economics. Excited yet? Neither are the girls in Usagi's class.

This group would probably welcome a Youma attack just to liven things up a bit. Their teacher, Ms Akiyama, seems a bit out of it, and after half-heartedly mumbling some instructions, wanders over to the window and starts daydreaming.

Later, Naru wonders what's wrong with their teacher, since Ms Akiyama is usually passionate about sewing. Umino, our very own exposition machine, knows the answer. It turns out Ms Akiyama recently got engaged, and getting married in a dress she made herself has always been her dream. Oh, and it's also pointed out that she's 34 and not married yet, which is, like, super old, right? Yeah, I know, it's a show from nineties Japan, but that whole "get married before you're thirty or you'll die alone" thing bugs me every time it comes up. So anyway, Ms Akiyama is now engaged to a short businessman who apparently has extremely low self esteem.

Romantic? Yes, but Usagi sees no reason to settle for an average man like that, and says she intends to be married to a handsome guy by 25. Umino's pretty dismayed at this: it means he's out of the running, unless the tail end of puberty is phenomenally kind to him.

Ms Akiyama is shopping for dress materials at a store with a curiously misspelled English sign, but though she has a design worked out, she hasn't been able to find material that she likes. But as she discusses the wedding plans with Haruna, who's that spying on her? It's Nephrite, aka Masato Sanjoin, millionaire playboy and stalker.

Later, at Nephrite's cathedral of solitude... I don't know why it's funny to see a bright red sports car parked outside his creepy evil church, it just is... Anyway, as you might just have predicted, he consults the stars and Ms Akiyama is chosen as the next victim.

Usagi is passing by the local community center, and sees a wedding taking place. As she daydreams, a sign is put up nearby advertising a contest for homemade wedding dresses, with a free wedding and lavish reception as the prize. Usagi then drifts into a fantasy of marrying Tuxedo Mask. And Motoki. Hey, it's a fantasy, why not both? Alas, Usagi's dreams of a polyandrous wedding are punctured when she realizes that it's a contest for homemade dresses, and she can't sew.

Rei also sees the sign, and has some questions for the community center's representative... who, by the way, looks like the least trustworthy man in existence.

Rei's very curious to know what happens if you win and you don't have a boyfr... I mean, don't have a date picked out. It turns out that the wedding offer is redeemable at any time in the future. This is awesome news! Except... Rei can't sew either. She and Usagi notice each other, and Rei hatches a plan. Usagi's mom is a housewife, right? She'll be able to help! As Rei drags Usagi off, Ms Akiyama sees the sign for the contest as well.

Rei has invited herself over to Usagi's house, and is now charming her mom while Usagi sits there and fumes. Usagi's mom is impressed her daughter has made a sophisticated friend like Rei, while Rei piles on the compliments. She manages a fairly admirable segue into how great Usagi's mom must be at sewing, since she's so good at everything else, and how it would be so wonderful to learn sewing from someone like her. Maybe they could start with something small, like a wedding dress? Usagi's mom laughs nervously, while Usagi's laughter is more of the hysterical variety. A short while later, Rei storms out of the house, having finally been informed that Usagi's mom can't sew worth crap either. Hahaha, Usagi calls Rei "You wench".

Luna, as is her role as resident buzzkill, tells the girls that they shouldn't be concerned with such frivolities, and should be training to fight their enemies instead. But nobody's actually there to hear it, as Rei has gone off to sulk, and Usagi's gone to look for help from someone who might actually be able to sew.

Usagi tells Ami about the contest and how Rei's totally being a jerk. Ami doesn't really get the appeal, since she has no plans to get married anytime soon, but Usagi pleads for help with sewing, so Ami agrees... and gives Usagi a pile of books. Once she's studied those, they can move onto the practical stuff. You rather get the impression that Ami's sick and tired of people coming up to her and saying "Teach me this!" when they're not remotely interested in doing any work.

Back to the only person we've met so far who has any hope of actually making a dress, Ms Akiyama is in a fabric store, watching in despair as a riot unfolds. Apparently a lot of people really want to enter that contest, including Haruna, who appears to be fighting with a student. Somehow, I wouldn't rate Haruna's chances of winning any higher than Usagi's. Anyway, a piece of silk that's been tossed aside catches Ms Akiyama's eye. As she picks it up, along comes our friend Masato Sanjoin. Did he mention he's also a... connoisseur of fabric? He implants a Youma essence in the fabric (which doesn't really look big enough to make a dress out of, just saying), then wraps it around her and leaves.

Usagi has one last resort to learn sewing. It's painful, but she's going to have to ask... a teacher. She drags Naru along with her to visit Ms Akiyama at home. As they get there, they see a dorky-looking guy, who they don't realize is Akiyama's fiancé, carrying flowers up to her apartment, and spend a bit of time laughing at him.

Let's keep doing it, though! So, the guy goes up to her apartment and knocks on the door, concerned because she hasn't been answering any of his calls. Holy crap, here's an example of how much better the sound is in this version: I just now noticed that you can hear a sewing machine running quietly in the background. Ms Akiyama answers the door, and she's, uh, different. Nephrite's power has been working its magic, and now she's incredibly surly, and apparently also answering the door in her underwear. She chases her fiancé away, telling him not to come back until the contest is over, and then has some weird spasms, seemingly going into withdrawal due to being away from the dress. Nephrite's powers are pretty damn scary.

Usagi and Naru saw the whole thing, and are horrified: Naru because something has evidently happened to Ms Akiyama, and Usagi because she totally said she was entering the contest, nobody else will have a chance! Luna saw everything as well, and concludes that a Youma must be involved.

Luna tells Ami of her suspicions as they make their way to the Hikawa shrine, where Rei is being reprimanded by her grandpa for trying to sneak off with the shrine's sacred wedding robes. At first he thought she was trying to elope, but when he realizes she's trying to take part in a contest that's just a tacky ad for one of their rivals, he's even more annoyed. Usagi's having no more luck with her own attempts at thievery: her mom is not prepared to part with those curtains. Plus, when she points out that the contest is only a few days away, it starts to dawn on Usagi that there just isn't enough time to make a dress, let alone that whole learning-to-sew business.

Ms Akiyama, however, successfully finishes her dress. Does this mean she can go back to being sane now? Nope, looks like she gets to go even crazier.

Now it's the day of the contest, and sure enough, Usagi didn't make any further progress beyond repeatedly stabbing her fingers with needles. However, someone needs to go undercover as a contestant, and Usagi does have the disguise pen. So she disguises herself as a bride with an awesome dress, which could totally win the contest. Which she won't be trying to do. Because that would be unethical.

Usagi lines up with the other contestants, while Rei and Ami frantically search for Ms Akiyama. The host (who is the amazingly dodgy-looking guy from earlier in the episode) is suddenly interrupted as he goes to start the contest. The lights go out, and a spotlight focuses on Ms Akiyama, who walks down the steps in her wedding dress. The dress... is kind of nuts, though I actually like it.

More wedding ensembles should include war paint, don't you think? The host tries to stop her, but after a hypnotic flash from her eyes, he's immediately smitten with her, and asks her to marry him. She's not interested, though, and says that all of the world's men should bow down to her, and just for good measure, all of the women should kneel before her beauty. Ms Akiyama, you're my kind of crazy villain. Her energy peaks while she knocks out most of the audience and contestants with her hypnotic eye-beams. Usagi manages to hang on thanks to the intervention of Luna, who was strategically hidden under her dress the whole time.

Nephrite's Youma emerges from Akiyama's wedding dress, draining her energy. This Youma is an orange spider woman called Widow. Usagi goes to confront it, but is cut off by Ami and Rei, who apparently noticed that things have been a bit too heterosexual around here recently, and that needs fixing.

Yeah, they descend from the ceiling aboard a suspended flying... gondola... thing labelled "Happy Couple." Just for the sake of anyone who's not been keeping up with all the lesbian subtext. They lecture the Youma, and Usagi joins in, saying it's her fault she won't be winning that wedding reception. Uh... not sure how that makes any sense, but whatever, Usagi and the others transform and get down to business.

Widow attacks, and while Mars and Mercury dodge, Sailor Moon gets tangled up in a stream of silk. Mercury casts Bubble Spray to disorient the Youma, then Mars frees Sailor Moon with Fire Soul. As the Youma rushes them blindly, Sailor Moon uses the tiara, and Widow is beaten. Kind of a short fight, but oh well.

So, Ms Akiyama recovers and gets married as planned, though sadly in a less crazy dress than the last one. Despite her husband being a weird short guy, Usagi points out he must be a good man if he stayed with her despite her bout of insanity. Which is a good thing, certainly, though as I pointed out when we first saw him, this man has no self esteem, which clouds the issue a bit. Ami makes the mistake of mentioning the tradition that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to get married.

I've seen enough TV weddings to know where this is going. Usagi, Rei and Haruna fight over the bouquet, but it of course, it ends up being caught by Ami, the one character who expressed no interest in getting married. That's comedy.

Monster of the day: Widow. She has a cool design and all, but she doesn't really get to do much, which is what you get when you wait until two minutes before the end of the episode to show up.

Most valuable person: Though she played little part in the episode as a whole, Ami gets it for her indifference to the wedding craze and her subtle trolling of Usagi. Also, she looked so damn serious while riding the Happy Couple boat.

Least valuable person: On the other hand, Luna took things too far with her usual buzzkill act. "Stop acting like teenage girls, you teenage girls!"

This episode feels a lot like filler, though would you believe it's loosely based on a story from the manga? In the manga, though, this story introduced both Sailor Jupiter and Naoko Takeuchi's obsession with crossdressing women. Here, it's pure fluff, but is it good fluff?

Well... parts of it are good. The story is cute enough, and it's not often you see an episode where your main characters want to participate in a competition, and then none of them get even close to being able to enter. On the other hand, the final battle seems like an afterthought, the ending is a huge cliche, and then there's the art. I'm a defender of Ando, in that I think he's only the second worst animation director in the show's history, and sometimes his style fits the episode. This time, though... yeah, it's a mostly whimsical story, but this has got to be some of his worst work. A lot of the art looked really, really sketchy and rushed. I can usually ignore the style fluctuations inherent to this show, but there are some times it really eats into my enjoyment of an episode.

This episode gets another three stars out five. It's fluff, and at times quite charming fluff, but here and there, there's evidence of a lack of effort.

15 - Usagi's Panic: Rei's First Date

For the most part, I've enjoyed Viz's approach to translating so far. It's less doggedly literal than subtitles often are, and makes for more natural-seeming dialogue, which is good. In this episode, though, one of the downsides of this approach becomes apparent.

The episode starts off with Ami showing Usagi and Rei a park that she visits often. She says hello to the groundsman, and this is the source of the translation problem.

See, in the original Japanese, Ami calls the groundsman "ojisan". This literally means "uncle", but is also an informal, friendly way of addressing an older man. This sounds odd in English, so the translators had Ami use his name, which sounds a lot more natural. But wait... where does the name come from? Neither Ami nor anyone in this episode actually speaks this character's name.

Well, his name is in the credits, and I assume in the scripts too. The problem with Japanese names, though, is that they can be read different ways, and without hearing the name, or seeing it written phonetically, you have no way of knowing for sure how to pronounce most Japanese names just by seeing them. You can make an educated guess, but that's it. And that's what the translators did here: they looked at the kanji for the groundman's name, which is 国立, and made a best guess, coming up with Kokuritsu.

Except they got it wrong. Thanks to the various Japanese guidebooks, which included a lot of production notes and materials, we know that the correct reading for this character's name is actually Kunitachi. Here's a scan from the first Nakayoshi Anime Album, complete with furigana showing the pronunciation of the name.

I mean, as errors go, this seems minor. It's not like the name is ever even spoken in the original episode. But having known this character's name for a long time, it's downright weird to see him referred to by a different name. And because of how Viz have chosen to translate this episode, with the name replacing "ojisan", this name shows up a lot. It bugs me.

Back to the episode - because I had more planned than complaining about a single botched name translation - the groundsman tells them that the park has been sold, and work crews are already starting to bulldoze it in preparation for a new office complex. Rei's reaction to the news is to realize she needs to quickly acquire a boyfriend in order to have a date in the park before it closes. I love her logic here, it says so much about her character's priorities. For most people, it's "boyfriend acquired, must find date spot", whereas in Rei's case it's "date spot acquired, must find boyfriend." Rei is the most ambitious of the main cast; she wants to experience as much as possible from life, and if some of that requires a boyfriend, then fine, she'll find one, but the boyfriend part isn't an end in and of itself.

That evening, Luna is walking the streets, and stops to wonder where everyone went today. Unfortunately, she stopped to wonder this in the middle of a busy road. She's almost hit by a truck, but someone makes a daring last-minute save!

Mamoru is out... uh, I'm gonna assume jogging; my nineties fashion-fu is weak... and darts across the street to rescue Luna. As the internet has proven, even the most irredeemably awful people still love cats.

Usagi, Ami and Rei show up a few moments later, and Usagi freaks out that Mamoru is messing with her cat. Everyone else sides with Mamoru, possibly because he's in the right for once, possibly because everyone other than Usagi always sides with Mamoru. Then Motoki appears. Hey, Motoki will stick up for Usagi, right? He's always been there to defend her. Oops! Turns out Motoki and Mamoru are friends, and go the same college.

In his personal creepy church in his personal creepy forest, Nephrite does his astrology act and identifies the groundsman as his next target. Meanwhile, Usagi and friends are at the arcade. While Usagi fails at the Sailor V game, Rei pumps Motoki for information about Mamoru. It turns out he's super rich, lives by himself in an expensive condo, and goes to a good college. Rei thinks this makes him perfect boyfriend material. Rei is also fourteen years old, so... well, yeah, there's that. Incidentally, though he's been around from the beginning, this is the first time we've actually heard Mamoru's real name. It's been in the credits since episode one, admittedly, but as we've discovered, that's no guarantee of knowing what his name actually is...

In the park, the groundsman watches the destruction, and wonders if there's any way to save the wildlife. Enter Nephrite as Masato Sanjoin, millionaire playboy and environmentalist, who announces, that, yes, the groundsman can save the animals. Save them with the power of evil. And you've just got to love a show that gives you lines like this:

With the power of a possessed hat, the groundsman summons the forces of nature to do his bidding and rise up against their human enemies. Unfortunately, a park in the middle of Tokyo doesn't have a lot of large animals, but damn it, he makes it work with what's available.

Watch out or they'll flap near you! Actually, these butterflies are pretty friggin' dangerous, as they can apparently destroy electrical equipment just by, uh, flapping near it. There's some poetic justice in seeing a butterfly destroy a lightbulb. While you could argue it's the Youma's essence giving them superpowers, I like to think that butterflies are actually this strong all the time. They just choose not to show it because they're pacifists.

The next day, Rei is engineering the perfect chance encounter with Mamoru. She's plotted out his route back from college, and is timing it so she will turn the corner and gently bump into him, which will of course prompt him to ask her on a date by way of apology. Rei has yet to realize that causing Mamoru even the slightest amount of pain or inconvenience will result in a stern lecture on what a terrible waste of a human being you are.

Rei puts her plan into action, but the goddesses of shoujo drama are fickle, and she trips on a loose paving stone, resulting in, well, this.

Rei says she's fine, and Mamoru, being Mamoru, hears this and just decides to keep on walking. Well, it was either going to be that or a fifteen minute lecture on clumsiness. Rei, undeterred, runs after Mamoru and latches onto him, proposing she make it up to him with a cup of coffee. Make what up to him? Why, making him step on her head. Well, if there's one thing Mamoru likes in a woman, it's apologizing for things that weren't her fault, so he accepts!

(Yes, I know I'm mean to Mamoru. I know he becomes a much more pleasant character later on. But at this point in the show, he's shown no indication of being anything other than a huge jerk.)

Usagi sees all of this unfold, and is shocked, shocked to see Rei walking off arm-in-arm with an attractive older guy. It's immoral! It's inappropriate! Where's her attractive older guy? She runs off after them to throw a spanner in the works. Strictly for Rei's own well-being, of course.

Rei and Mamoru are in a cafe, where Rei is trying to make smalltalk and generally behaving like a huge dork. Usagi spies on them, but can't go inside because she doesn't have any money. She could always use the disguise pen to pose as a waitress... But then another opportunity arises. Umino sees Usagi and wonders what she's up to, crouched down outside a cafe. Hey, wait, doesn't Umino have a crush on Usagi? Hmmmm.

Usagi asks if Umino has any money. He does! Usagi asks if Umino would like to go on a date. He... wait, what? Yes, yes he would. They get into the cafe, where Usagi spies on Rei and Mamoru while Umino behaves like a boy from the 1950s.

In the park, it seems that the construction crew all suddenly quit. The owner explains to the uncharacteristically surly groundsman that with nobody prepared to do the work, the planned construction has been cancelled, and they'll be keeping the park the way it is. Meanwhile, Ami explains to Luna how she noticed the groundsman's odd behavior, and they head to the park to investigate. After meeting with the groundsmsan, the owner mutters about those construction workers expecting him to believe they were attacked by butterflies, and tosses a cigarette butt on the ground, attracting the attention of a squirrel. Man, that is one pissed-off looking squirrel. Moments later, Ami and Luna are drawn to the cries of a man experiencing the full-on terrifying wrath of squirrels.

This might look strange, but in fact, squirrels are widely known to be badasses. I mean, just ask Doctor Doom.

While the owner flees, begging forgiveness and promising never to bother the park again, Ami and Luna take a look at the horde of possessed evil squirrels and wonder if something evil might be afoot.

In a different, less evil part of the park, Rei has taken Mamoru out on a boat. He expresses sadness that the park is going to be closed, saying that people should take better care of nature. A wind blows to signify Mamoru having said something non-jerkish for the first time ever. Usagi watches them from a secluded spot, wondering what they're talking about. And Umino, having been raised by dating sims, thinks Usagi must be totally serious about this relationship if she's taken him to this private place already, and, well, since she's going to be so insistent, he'll agree to a kiss. By the time he's done saying this, Usagi has already run off somewhere else.

Usagi meets up with Ami and Luna, who tell her about the weird things happening in the park. The groundsman sees them, and says that the penalty for trespassing in this haven of nature is death! Then his energy peaks, and is drained by the Youma in his hat.The Youma takes humanoid form, and her name is... Petasos.

This Youma apparently gets her name from a Greek term for a sun hat, that I think also refers to some kind of leaf. But it's just too perfect that a Youma created from the fervor of eco-terrorism has "Peta" in her name. Petasos commands the park's animals to attack, prompting Usagi and Ami to transform.

On the boat, Mamoru suddenly experiences a weird seizure. Hmm, where have we seen that before? Then he and Rei are attacked by birds, and end up tipping their boat over. Meanwhile, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury are being menaced by butterflies, and Luna has a squirrel problem. Mercury casts Bubble Spray, and... this has an effect, somehow. It slows the butterflies and squirrels down somehow. I don't really get it, but hey, Bubble Spray did something useful so I'm fine with it. Petasos counterattacks, wrapping both Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury in vines.

Rei and Mamoru made it out of the water okay, but Rei detects the evil aura nearby, and runs off to investigate. Not a moment too soon! Sailor Mars uses Fire Soul to destroy the vines trapping her allies. Mercury's pissed off that the Youma took advantage of the groundsman, Mars is pissed off that her date was interrupted, and they both tell off the Youma, stealing Sailor Moon's thunder a bit. The Youma goes to attack again, but a rose thrown by Tuxedo Mask distracts her. Wait, would a rose even work on a nature-based creature? Anyway, this gives Sailor Moon a chance to use the tiara, and Petasos is destroyed.

As the groundsman recovers, a wet and confused Mamoru joins Usagi, Rei and Ami. Rei suggests that Mamoru could be Tuxedo Mask, an idea that Usagi finds horrifying. Mamoru overhears, and has apparently never heard of Tuxedo Mask, but Rei is convinced it must be him. Then Umino shows up, having apparently escaped the wrath of nature entirely, and embarrasses Usagi by asking if she wants to continue their date. The end.

Monster of the day: Petasos is pretty strong, but as a grass type she has an obvious fire weakness. She also likes to name her attacks, though the names aren't very good: "Petasos Rope" and "Hand Flower" show a distinct lack of imagination. This is why you can't be a magical girl, Petasos. That and the being evil thing.

Most valuable person: Even though a lot of time was spent with Usagi and Rei, it seems like this was really Ami's episode, and indeed, she was the first to notice that something was going on.

Least valuable person: It's a tough one to call, but Usagi spent a lot of the episode being petty and conniving, so I think she gets the award this time.

My complaints about the translation aside, this is an episode that falls pretty clearly in average territory for the show. The "victim of the week who's an unlikely friend of one of the main characters who we've never seen before and will never see again" format seems a bit more blatant than last week, but there's enough going on that it doesn't drag the episode down too much. Plus, you know, any episode with possessed evil squirrels has to be doing something right. Three stars out of five.

11 - Usagi vs. Rei: Nightmare in Dream Land

Last week's episodes weren't so great, eh? Never mind, because things start to improve for a bit starting with this latest episode.

The team are at Rei's shrine, where Luna is trying to conduct a meeting, but Usagi and Ami are more preoccupied with going through Rei's stuff. Ami's reading her encyclopedias while Usagi's reading her manga. By the way, this episode subtly kicks off the running theme that Rei is a bit of a closet nerd. It's never a huge thing, but it's always there, just another little element of her character.

Luna gets frustrated that nobody's listening to her lecture about how they need to find the moon princess. But as Usagi and Rei point out, they don't know how to find her, and Luna hasn't exactly been forthcoming with a description. Ami helps Luna save face by changing the subject and suggesting they focus on their other mission: dealing with these monsters that have been showing up recently. She points out a recent incident at the nearby amusement park, Dream Land, where fifty visitors apparently disappeared. Fortunately for us, there was no mention of flying buses in the vicinity.

This is the first episode with Masahiro Ando as art director. He has the infamous round-faced style, and a lot of fans aren't keen. For me, it really depends on the episode. The style is jarring in more serious episodes, but frankly, it sort of works in more whimsical episodes like this one.

But it's not all fun and games: in the Dark Kingdom, Jadeite is getting a right old bollocking for having screwed up another plan, and letting yet another Sailor Guardian show up. Beryl is now openly threatening him, and he nervously insists that he has another energy-gathering plan in place; a really, really good one this time.

The gang visit Dream Land, where Jadeite is posing as the park's PR guy and taking questions from reporters. Well, kind of: he insists the park has nothing to do with the disappearances, then ejects the press from the building. Literally ejects them.

Jadeite might have his failings as an evil general, but he's definitely someone you'd want on your side at a press conference.

Ami and Rei debate what could have happened to the visitors who disappeared, then realize they've lost Usagi somewhere. Usagi, of course, is trying out the rides. One scolding from Luna later, I'm reminded why I sometimes like Ando's art style: you get priceless scenes like this.

It's the combination of Rei's pose and Ami's expression that makes it perfect, I think. And it's quickly followed by this...

Which is Usagi's response to a friggin' lion showing up in front of them. Well, it turns out that the lion is animatronic, and is one of many animatronic animals operated by the park's mascot, Princess Dream. Because what amusement park experience isn't enhanced by realistic apex predators wandering the grounds? Princess Dream demonstrates how she can control the park's animals using a weird apple she carries around with her. Man, I knew those Disney princesses had to have a secret. I'm onto you, Snow White.

Rei is thoroughly creeped out by Princess Dream, and thinks something's up. Usagi is unconvinced. Come on, Usagi, listen to the psychic girl. Princess Dream further ingratiates herself with Usagi by inviting her to a show at the House of Sweets. The House of Sweets? That's like Usagi's heaven. The only way it could be better is if it was called the House of Sweets, Hot Guys and No Homework.

We get a closeup of the House of Sweets, but... hey, isn't that the Dark Kingdom music playing? Yep, Jadeite is inside, surrounded by unconscious bodies, talking about how he intends to lure the Sailor Guardians inside. Which does at least show that the Dark Kingdom have finally started gathering intel on their enemies. Their data for Sailor Moon probably consists of "likes sweets".

Our heroes search the park for suspicious activity, but aren't finding anything, so Luna decides they'll split up. She'll go with Ami, who's the least likely to call her out on having no idea what she's doing, which means Usagi and Rei are stuck with each other. They investigate Princess Dream again. Rei is still suspicious of her, and unnerved by the crowd of children forming around her and her fake animals. She tries to get a small boy away from her, but Usagi insists that it's fine, and this dispute can only escalate into one thing...

Childhood trauma. One day years from now this kid will be telling a therapist about the time two amazingly strong women tried to pull his legs off.

Usagi and Rei switch to patrolling the park... on a tiny train driven by a panda. The train stops suddenly, and Usagi collides with the guy in front, who is... Mamoru! Mamoru tells Usagi off as usual, and Rei, who's spent the last few hours being massively irritated by Usagi, hits it off with him. Well, after so many episodes being on the receiving end of Mamoru's inexplicable ire, Usagi tells him off, pointing out that a grown man riding the kiddie train isn't in a position to be judging others.

It's really great to see Usagi giving as good as she gets. This is probably my favorite scene in the episode. Rei thinks Mamoru looks like Tuxedo Mask, while Usagi is unimpressed with the comparison.

Usagi and Rei meet up with Luna outside the House of Sweets. Rei senses evil, and Ami has already gone in. Inside, Princess Dream shows up and breathes a strange hypnotic gas on the crowd, causing them to fall into a dream-like state. She then uses her apple to start absorbing their energy. Ami is aware of what's happening, but also starts to succumb to the energy draining.

Outside, Rei senses that something really bad has happened. The doors are locked, and Usagi starts to freak out that Ami's trapped. There's a little bit between her and Rei where Rei insists that just because she's acting calm, it doesn't mean she isn't concerned. They both transform, and Sailor Mars blows the doors off with Fire Soul. Jadeite senses them as they enter: he intended to lure them in here.

Sailor Moon, Sailor Mars and Luna encounter Princess Dream, who starts working her illusion magic on them. She hands Sailor Moon a garland of flowers, and as Sailor Mars tries to knock it away, it turns into a snake. Mars gets bitten and her arm starts turning to stone. Again, Mars doesn't freak out, but uses an ofuda to expel the evil influence, freeing her. Then she demands Princess Dream show her true form.

Rei, why did you have to ask her that?

Oh god oh god oh god

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Thanks to my friend Crayola for providing these gifs; still images just don't do this scene justice. The spinning and the mechanical sound effects and the creepy, creepy music box music just makes this an amazingly scary sequence. Evil dolls are pretty much guaranteed to be scary, but they really nailed this scene. Brrrr.

So, the Youma's name is Moorido. That's a slightly different translation than I'd been expecting, but no matter. In Japanese, her name is an anagram of "dream", but that kind of thing just can't be reproduced in English. You'll be pleased to know that in addition to her freaky appearance, Moorido also speaks in a weird, faux-childlike falsetto.

She sprays more of the hallucinogenic gas their way. Sailor Moon resolves not to fall for another illusion, but the illusion this time is Tuxedo Mask. And both Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars fall for it. Completely.

In their defense, who wouldn't want a man with his own horse? While I'd usually be inclined to criticize the episode for having the characters act like idiots, I think this slightly balances out the running theme of Sailor Mars being way more competent than Sailor Moon: sometimes, Mars can be a huge dork too.

Fortunately, the real Tuxedo Mask shows up just long enough to knock Moorido's apple out of her grasp, disrupting the illusion. Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars look kind of embarrassed, then run for it when the Youma prepares to work the same magic on them again. They meet up with Ami, who's fared better than the room full of unconscious visitors, but is still weakened. She tells them that the source of the Youma's energy-draining power is the apple, and then transforms into Sailor Mercury.

Mercury casts Bubble Spray, leaving the Youma unable to see her surroundings. Mars descends on her with a frankly unnecessary panty shot, and attaches an ofuda to her head, freezing her in place. Then Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars deliver a combined Moon Tiara Action/Fire Soul, turning the Youma to dust. Jadeite watches his plan evaporate and swears revenge, but he's sweating a lot more now that he used to. And... did the whole building just turn to dust? Hmm.

I guess the rest of the park is non-evil, though, because the girls are walking through it afterwards and it looks fine. Then I guess nobody could think of an ending for this episode, because after squabbling with Rei a bit, Usagi falls over. Oh well.

Monster of the day: Moorido. Evil appearance, evil voice, evil transformation. She has some kind of dream-inducing illusion magic. She makes snakes that turn people to stone. She's bad news.

Most valuable person: As the title says, it's Usagi versus Rei! Rei wins, showing she's really on top of things, even if she was a bit mean to Usagi and capable of screwing up herself on occasion.

Least valuable person: It's tempting to go with Usagi, as the episode ramped up her stupidity and childishness, though not nearly as much as the last episode did. I'm going with Mamoru instead, though, because while did get called out on it, his sole purpose this episode was to do his usual being-a-jerk routine.

This episode is a mixed bag, though a bag containing mostly good things. A lot of the interplay between Usagi and Rei is fun, there's some good comedy, and the Youma is scary as balls. On the other hand... Usagi plays it a bit too dumb at times, and I really hate that lazy, lazy ending. This episode is a pretty solid three stars out of five: not amazing, but certainly entertaining.